Go Team Pandy!

(I just came across a draft of a post, written exactly a year ago…Don’t know why it never made it to the blog…)

This last weekend I had to take one of our “baby clowns” on a gig with me. After I spoke with her on the phone I began to worry about having to work with her. She didn’t seem too bright. For example, she has lived in the Seattle area for 6 years, however has NO idea where Issaquah, Bellevue, or Redmond are. (Suburbs around the city). She also had no idea which directions Interstate 5 runs. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t even know where I-5 is (it runs right through the center of Seattle)

So, we decided to meet at a Park and Ride and drive to the parties together. I was happy to find that she managed to locate the parking lot, however she LOCKS her keys into her vehicle! She jumps in my car and says she will deal with it later. I then suggest that she should try calling a friend to bring her spare keys to her. Turns out she doesn’t have a single friend who owns a car. Well whatever I guess we have to figure out a solution later…

We arrive at the first party. I let her do one magic trick during my show. It was a pretty standard party and we get a $20 tip. When we get into the car I explain that I don’t have any change so I can’t split the tip with her but maybe we would get tipped at the next party and then we would have enough to split all the tips in half. I remembered when I was a clown in training that the clown I went along with shared her tips with me and I thought that was really nice, so I decided to do the same.

We arrive at the next party, finish our show and we get a tip of two twenties, making spliting tips difficult. We get back into the car and I figure she won’t make a big deal about it and say “well you take $40 and I’ll take $20 since these were really your parties”. No, this is not what she says. Instead, she says “well we can make a stop at at a gas station to split the $20…you must be mad that you had to bring me along and share your tips”. I began to become more irritated with her and then somehow we ended up on a totally unknown road. I had thought I was following the same route home, but we were lost and I was really flustered with the situation and with this baby clown. I stop to pull out a map and she then begins to chew and suck on a half inflated balloon animal. disgusting noises. It was unbelievably gross. Not only was it physically dirty but the noises she made were inapprioate and distracting me from my maps.

I finally figure out where we are and we find a gas station. She jumps out, exchanges the $20 for two tens and returns with a trayful of junk food…..junk food like stinky ass nacho’s and jerky. She starts to chop away (similiar to the inappropriate balloon sucking)and making a mess in my car.

So now we are finally back on the freeways and she asks me to drive her back to her apartment rather than find someone to bring her a spare key or call a locksmith. She is completley aware that for me to do this I have to break my pre-arranged plans with phill and go completly out of my way. I wanted to be somewhat sympathetic because I understand that things like this happen and she probably was really nervous and excited about going to her first party, but she was making this incredibly difficult.

We head back towards Seattle and as we approach the exit for the park and ride she asks me if we can stop to double check whether she had locked her passenger seat door, or to see if she dropped her keys on the ground. This park and ride is 10 minutes from the freeway exit. I say okay and pray to god that her keys are on the ground and I can get rid of her right there. Unfortunately, they are not. She can see her keys were left right in the ignition. I ask her how will she get back to her car if none of her friends have cars and she replies that she has a co-worker who can drive her back there. It occurs to me that she could call her co-worker to meet her there with her spare keys, however when I suggest this, her reply is that she “…could never ask her to DO THAT!”. For some reason it is okay to ask a total stranger to tote her ass all over the place. So back in the car and 30 min later we are back on the freeway.

I drop her off at her apartment, she makes sure she has her portion of the tips, I get a simple “thank you” and she leaves.

Home 2 hours late, Phill suggests getting a Jampa Juice after a shower. All cleaned up and feeling a little better we get back in my car when I realize not only did she leave a nasty stench and junk food mess, but she has also gotten clown makeup all over the car ceiling and visor.

I think there is nothign more this girl could do to ruin my day….but then she calls my cell phone. She has left her magic tricks in clown suitcase and wants me to bring them to her. I apologized to her, telling her that I had left everything in my house and wasn’t returning anytime soon. She is really disappointed and talks to me in a snotty tone of voice telling me she needs her trick tonight for “clown graduation”. I suggest that she barrow the trick from one of her classmates and slightly modify it so that she doesn’t need her specialized magic bag. Apparently this isn’t a adequet solution and she responds with a “I SUPPOSE I CAN DO THAT”.

What is wrong with this girl?!?

I think its funny when middle age white men wear hammer pants to the gym.

I’m obsessed with the idea of an onigiri (japanese rice ball) catering truck.
Like one of those burrito stands but for onigiri. Today when I was pumping my gas I noticed in the parking lot was a old school bus converted into a little restraunt. The back half was the kitchen and the front half had bar style seating looking out the windows of the bus. If there was “bento bus” i would so eat there. It’s going to be all the rage. im telling ya

Found a mini notebook with some old notes. Can’t stand to throw it away unless the contents are documented somewhere….and I suppose here is as good as any. (unfortunetly I cannot read much of my own handwritting).

Observe in a penatrating way.

Allison Kueseta-botanical curtain. Transision from wooded area to open field. Man in tub- reflection on water-clearing of water through sho**** wrinkling skin-cloth.
Water vest-60 pounds.
Air-water
Things can’t be contained mentally/physically. Once you normalize it-becomes art.
Air- reflection on water. Bubbles from ceiling-from body (not sculpture) fighting figures walking
Sonic/Olfactory factors.
exchange of material
through kiss and spat on glass. Public vs. Private.
Walking meditation. Push body to place wouldnt normally be.
Ceiling Tile- imbilical cord.
Both poems say “see net” asking for “info” lack of info.
celiing *** reality down. B & W photo
Exsisting of connection pairs-tissue. Process of mel*** exhausting
Experience the piece differently.

Obsessive personality
the white cube (cube within a cube)
suburban artificiality to nature
baby. viewer not known who she was but decied she is who she is.
baby shoes-bronzed
trophy the birth- reward that? 1:14 birth defects.
Everbody saw and applied own history
Themes of otherness, incompletion, degenerate
head cut off-stubbies.
the effort to make somethign effortless.
lipstick dress-fetishising the body
seductive but become armor- seperate
security blanket-bad pasifier
sounds of oral sex
Perspective of child\adult (picture of giant crib}
security fro child can’t see for adult.
When 5 yrs old are 10 ft tall.
Twins talking to each other-viewer excluded
Floor with might lights-security- had vertigo and naseau.
insite into other brians
rocking chair small.
prosthetics make man better
blue- good. orange-bad
girls and horses-power, early sexulity, hybrid, gender
pleasure ride
water training

Sadi Benning
Judy spots-service, nightmare, mall
Flat is beautifull-not reality-masks, pictures on wall, jem toys
what *****? sexuality
Kung fu
Advertisment and bollertive pounds
playing to toys
ideal man
her fathers problems. mothers “”
Madana

Jane Roos impressionism
monet\manet
manet-disgust with realism
impressionate (circle with cross through)
Olympia-irony of protitute
Monet-influes by *** vs versd
fuel of unfinished
landscape painting unexceptional
ann*** malys***
manet-off moment

fomatic religion
Private space
personal contmplation
public (arrows) private
(experience) of art-becoming envolved
wanting to be moved by image to be bring into its space immersing himself into

theatrical works-photo as window as (object)

relationship 2 bodies

Project #1
encourage participation, male male interae**
Body space in public-people’s place. How to reactivate image. is father dirty?
Men exchanging fluids (image of large circle with smaller circles surrounding) Social space

Demonstration, performance
Activating social space, experience social space.
Documentatin of performance him** photographer.
hr of 1000 flowers
24 bud excepted and returned. spittle
1st piece two faces(arrows facing away from each other)
specific process in each performance instructions
retrieve baby photo’s at last moment
Visulize pleasure
Monty Python myth-fair tales
teach himself to draw.
Satirize it-make fun of himself
Lactos envy-making fun of man
artist= weird
art permission to not pay attention?
he won’t let people adtifs as art

Zoopa used to have a couple of restraunts in Washington state….now there is only one. Southcenter is a 15 min drive away but Phill had never experienced this Pasta, soup, and bakery buffet experience and fealt it necessary to see what it was all about. It actually didn’t suck as much as I expected it to suck. Last time I was there was a couple years ago and it was super sucktacullar. It seems they have revamped the restraunt some and now they have a changing menu that includes interesting and different items like Pho and the Good fortune Apricot turnover (which I especially dug). It was a good $8 dollar experience and meal. Not driving to Southcenter for dinner again soon but maybe in a couple of months.

Well seems as though Brown Paper Tickets had some sort of glitch in their system that caused tickets for the April 30th Rat City Rollergirls bout to be available for sale early. When I went to the event page at 10:30am realizing I was 30 minutes past the sell time, there was a note indicating that the online tickets were already completely sold out due to the glitch.

The League was selling some tickets in person at Marley’s in Ballard, but that was a pretty good drive and tickets were limited each day (100 on Saturday and 50 on Sunday) so I didn’t end up going out there. It would have made a good excuse to go check out some good fish ‘n chips places out there though.

Anyway, I just found out that they’re going to have an eBay auction for two tickets plus a copy of each of the limited edition posters for the bouts thus far. I’ll have to check it out when it goes up, but seeing as how I just had to pay a ton in taxes I don’t see myself splurging for tickets.

I’ve never been a fan of talking on my cell phone and driving. I’ve also never been a fan of riding in the car with Yaeka while she is driving and talking on her cell phone. Washington just passed a law recently making the use of a cell phone without a hands free device while driving a secondary infraction.

More importantly, I fell down the stairs today while talking on a cell phone. If I can’t even walk while on a cell phone, I really shouldn’t be driving while talking on one either.

Well, like Yaeka’s car Rupert, my van surpassed the 100,000 mile mark. Named after the state containing the long ass portion of I-81, Virginia has been a reliable vehicle except for that one time the water pump broke in Ithaca due to the sub-zero temperatures.

I didn’t remember to take the digital camera this morning to capture the moment on my way home, but it actually wouldn’t have been that exciting. There was no magical “click” into 100000. It slowly turned and the 1 didn’t even become fully visible until past the 100002 mark. If you’re looking for dramatic moments every 100,000 miles, don’t get a Chevy Astro.

There’s really only one thing I’d complain about my car and that is the awful gas mileage. Granted it does much better than the 12-13 mpg I got in Daisy the short bus and actually does better than the Dodge Dakota I drove before it, but with rising gas costs, I’ve been itching for something new. Lately I’ve had a severe case of Prius envy and nearly called the bank to get details regarding my pre-approved auto loan, but did some calculations and realized it just wasn’t realistic.

For now I’m content to spend my $160-$200 a month on gas and am thankful that I work in a county with cheaper gas. Gas in Puyallup can be up to $.18 cheaper a gallon than in Issaquah. The one thing still in my mind that could be a solution to my outrageous gas costs is getting a motorcycle/scooter. Aprilia’s Scarabeo 500 is damn nice looking and has more than adequate power to handle my 35 mile freeway commute. The scooter or “automatic motorcycle” as it has been called is capable of getting the same gas mileage as the Prius and would be about $20,000 cheaper. The other benefit of a motorcycle/scooter is that you can drive in the carpool lane. Most likely I’ll just dream of getting a new vehicle every day until Virginia decides that she’s ready to retire.

Coho Cafe - Fancier than I expected, but not super fancy. Like a step up from Red Robin. All seafood dishes except one vegetarian option…which was actually pretty tasty despite being the most out of place out of theme dish on the menu. It was essentially yakisoba but with some interesting tangy undertones. Couldn’t place my finger on the flavor. Phill had fish taco and seem to really enjoy them. Coho Cafe was slightly more expensive than your regular sit down eatery but our dishes had interesting elements that made it different. Enjoyed the meal, however was more money than we would have liked to spend, probably won’t go back there, however enjoyed the experience.

Qdoba- - Phill really enjoys frequenting this eatery for a quick “Mexican” bite. My man likes burritos. He is half-mexican you know. More expensive than Taco Time, less greasy than Taco time, they steam the tortillas, they have a nice selection of salsas, and you can have a beer there. I don’t know if their food is any better than Taco Del Mar but nicer environment and beer.

Taco Del Mar - I always feel a little dirty eating inside Taco Del Mar. I don’t know why, it’s not actually dirty. They also steam their tortillas, which I like, and they have a punch card.

Chilis - Last time Phill and I visited the Issaquah Chili’s we did not enjoy our experience. I can’t exactly remember why. I think going to chains like Chili’s is always a disappointing experience.

Mandarin Garden - After hearing about my job offer at Lakeside Phill and I went out for a celebration dinner here. I had never had sizzling rice soup and I really wanted to try. We were not disappointed! The entire meal was delightful. I usually don’t enjoy Chinese food, but this place really did it for me.

Sweet Addition - I used to eat her all the time when I was little. My mom would take me out to Gilman Village and it was a special treat to eat at this cafe. They have great sandwiches, soups, and pastries. When Phill and I visited last I was not feeling well and couldn’t eat anything. I don’t think PhiLL enjoyed his sandwich that much. Overall crappy experience however I think we need to give it another chance.

Cucina! Cucina! - Phill and I HATE the Issaquah Cucina! Cucina!. I grew up liking this Italian Chain however after our last experience there we will NEVER ever visit one again. They were very slow in seating us and taking our order, however after that everything was light speed as they hurried us back out the door. After ordering our food we were served our dishes in a couple of minutes. I think the appetizer bread came out the same time as our meal. After we had been served and had only a few bites they were bringing our bill and boxes for our plates. What was most irritating about the experience was that after filling out a comment card nobody from the company acknowledged that we had a poor experience. I frequently fill out comment cards (giving positive and negative feedback) and this was the first time I did not receive a response.

Sushi Man - This restaurant was started by an ex-sumo wrestler who came to America after his Sumo career was over. (I think that’s what I read on the menu). They show Sumo wrestling on TV’s around the restaurant. This was a typical good Japanese restaurant. I don’t say typical meaning “Tom’s Teriyaki Bowl” but in this area we have a large Asian community and you can find authentic, fresh Japanese food in most suburbia cities. I did enjoy the Sumo wrestling theme and the food was good. Being that Phill and I are poor we probably won’t visit this restaurant as frequently as some of the other restaurants in Issaquah, but I am sure we will visit them again.

La Costa Mexican Restaurant - Your run of the mill Mexican restaurant. Good Sangria. However, Phill and I tend to visit the Bellevue Azteca for Mexican eats. The decor there is ridiculous.

Taco Time - I don’t know if this is worth mentioning in this list however Taco Time will always be my fast food eatery of choice. I love Taco time for declaring the tator tot the Mexican French Fry. Who couldn’t love tator tots with their burrito. They also have non-greasy, non-nasty options on their menu and Taco Bell freaks me out. I will always prefer Taco Time no matter what Phill says.

Flying Pie Pizzeria - I really enjoy this pizzeria. Excellent thin crust pizza, good beer selection, good arcade and pinball games, and once we saw Jay Buhner (ex-mariners player) eating there.

IHOP - This IHOP used to suck ballz however since having new management it has been really great. Good size portions, cleaner environment, and we love the international burrito. I have no idea why this is a regional menu item. You cannot order this in Syracuse. We have tried. Hash browns and scrambled eggs in a tortilla. Yum!

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts - I don’t love the Krispy Kreme the way others do. They are way too sweet for me. For many years this area of the country lacked dounut shops. I guess they were to health conscience to really enjoy doughnuts. Then a couple years ago Krispy Kreme opened the first of their chain store in Issaquah. People waited for hours and hours to get a doughnut. It was absolutely insane. It made the news for days. It has quieted down since then however at times you can still find a really long line outside. They have opened a store in downtown Seattle and Tacoma also. You wouldn’t believe how fried dough deprived the people of the Pacific Northwest were.

O’Chan Restaurant - Okay I haven’t visited this particular restaurant, however in general this Thai chain can suck it. I go to Thai Kitchen in Bellevue for Thai. I can’t live without Sweet Rice and Mango with sweet coconut milk.

Denny’s - This is a non exceptional Denny’s but they do have Photo hunt (not erotic photohunt but still fun).

Fatburger- I don’t know about fatburger, but whenever I am not around this is where PhiLL goes to eat. Yuck.

Places Phill and I have yet to eat at:
Front Street Diner
Issaquah Brewhouse
Issaquah Cafe
Bukhara Cuisine of India
Julia’s of Issaquah (eventhough we really dislike the one in Seattle)
Triple X Drive-In
Pho Hoa Restaurant
Organic to go
Jokers pub and grill
Acapulco Fresh
All 12 chinese restraunts
That funky Mexican restraunt in the shape of a hat.
Lambardi’s Cucina
Mongolia Grill